by Mel McCredie
Becoming a Christian later in life can be challenging. It is hard not to compare yourself to everyone you meet in church, and at times it can feel like a long, lonely journey. For me coming from a non-Christian background, two of the most difficult challenges were finding a church where I fitted in and finding somebody I could talk to.
I didn’t know anything about churches or denominations. I naively thought that if we all believed in the same God, how different could we be? Very different apparently! I soon discovered how scathing a pastor or a minister could be of other denominations and their beliefs.
For a while I drifted between churches, searching for something I never seemed to be able to find. I was drawn to the idea of knowing more about God, but most of the people I met were already established in their own group of friends and I felt like an outsider.
I had so many questions, but I was afraid to ask them. The most surprising thing to me was how difficult it was to make friends. I was always worried that I would say or do the wrong thing, so I mostly kept quiet and listened. Some of the teaching I heard impacted me greatly, but I still hadn’t found a place to call home.
It was on my eldest daughter’s third birthday that I went to yet another church, but this time the pastor invited everyone to pray the sinner’s prayer. I didn’t have to go up the front or call any attention to myself. The entire congregation was asked to close their eyes and let this moment be between them and Jesus. And somehow, it felt like my whole life had been leading up to that moment.
I continued at that church for several years after that day. I won’t say it was easy, but over time I learned how to be myself. The message of salvation overwhelmed me at first, and I kept thinking it was too good to be true. But God kept teaching and guiding me, and eventually I realised that all I had to do was come as I am, and He would accept me.
For the first time, I also heard about the difference between religion and relationship. I discovered that one imposes rules as interpreted by man, while the other promotes a real relationship with God. I also learned that it was ok to ask questions, and to measure what I was hearing against scripture.
Finding freedom in God to be myself finally allowed me to make some friends. It was difficult putting myself out there, and there were definitely times of pain and rejection in the process. It might sound naive to admit this, but I had to accept that not everyone was going to like me!
But that was also what helped me find real relationships. I first had to learn to be ok with being me. And then I had to have to confidence to let others see that. I learned that the best way to make friends was to ask God to bring the right people into my life at the right time. Part of that experience is accepting that some friendships might only be for a season, while some are for life.
Being lonely is hard! But God might use our season of loneliness to grow us in compassion and understanding for others. He might want us to minister to someone else, which is very difficult to do if you can’t empathise with what they are going through.
God says He will never leave us or forsake us. No matter how lonely or desperate we feel, we will always have Him. It took me a long time to believe this truth! No matter what people do to me, I can trust God with my heart. I pray that you will too.
© MM 2019
Melinda is a writer who shares her life experiences with God on her blog, www.thedevotedlife.com She also has a self-published book. Melinda attends Gateway Baptist Church with her husband Drewe and two daughters.
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